Okay, I get it! (sort of)

So I've been happily going about my business of daily living with the added plus of "nostril flares of total rejection" at the across-the-street-neighbors. The coup-de-grace happened on trash day this week when I didn't even look at much less say anything to Mr. Sturm (aka Mr. Bully). I was walking to my trash can at the end of my driveway to throw something in it. Clearly it hadn't been picked up yet. Out of the corner of my eye I see movement across enemy lines. It was actually kinda fun to give a BIG cold shoulder. I know he gets it. He gets that we are not on speaking terms because I usually can't resist trying to say some kind of greeting in order to be the friendly neighbor. I usually say hello or make a comment about the weather. NOT on Wednesday! It was the hugest brush off I've ever pulled off. AND, bonus points for Bobby for totally backing me up! He hasn't once tried the "be the bigger person" talk. (Thanks, Sweetie!! ILY)



I've enjoyed my position as secret snubber. Until today. At church. My pastor goes and spoils it. Like I've said before, I have had numerous chats with God about the sitch. He knows how I'm wired and why I feel like I do. AND, like the gracious and loving God He is, He has loved me anyway. The conviction has remained at bay. Until today. Today, Pastor Jason started a 9-week series on "City Without Walls." Today's message? Being about the business of building God's house. (Such a great message, btw!) At the end, he lead the congregation in a confession, of sorts. Within the confession itself were things like, "not loving our neighbors in a way pleasing to God." Well if that isn't a cold bucket of water dumped over my head! Seriously? I mean, I can forgive but I am not willing, at this point, to remember that I've forgiven. Know what I mean?

In time I am sure that I will be willing to be willing to not only forgive but also forget. Until then I plan on living like they don't exist in my world. Or until Jesus comes back. That day might be a good one to make it stick.