Oops, I did it again!

I know I'm not the only one this has happened to. I know I'm in good company. So this post is dedicated to all those friends out there in cyberspace who have a mouth that's really too big for their brains.



We have lots of friends who have lots of kids...and lots of different parenting styles. Different parents=different rules. Different parents=different personalities. I am NOT saying I'm an expert on child-rearing because I am sooooo not! I am saying that I've learned quite a bit about what to do and what NOT to do. It's kind of like when you planned your wedding and you went to tons of your friends weddings...the stuff you didn't like/didn't want to duplicate made a longer list than the stuff you liked. (Does this make sense?) Anyway...same thing applies. I've learned a whole lot more of what doesn't work regarding kids. The BIGGEST thing I've learned is to KEEP MY MOUTH SHUT when I disagree with what another parent does/ignores/tolerates/etc. For the most part. (cue blunder)



Here's where the gaff happens. (I'm going to change a few details to protect the innocent here because I really like this mom and want to keep her friendship). So her child is playing with Evan at my house one afternoon. The playdate is winding down. It's close to the time when I'll be dropping the kid back home. I give the old "10 min. left before we leave" routine. Followed by the "5 min. left". When go time actually arrives, I give the direction to get shoes on so we can take Friend home. Evan and Friend don't move. I play the "mom card" and step in with, "You'll do it now. It's time to go." You'd think that would make said children hop right up and do what their told. But no.

At this point, some folks would repeat the directive, either patiently or pleadingly. Not me. I step in front of the tv, turn off the tv and turn back to see Evan hurriedly putting on shoes. Friend, on the other hand, stares at me like a bump on a stump. AAAaaannnnnddd, cue mouth: "When I say stop, I mean it...unlike your mother." OMG! Was that last part OUT LOUD?? Being me, I didn't mumble it. Nope. Loud and proud, baby! Selling it to the cheap seats! Friend simply gets up from the couch at a snail's pace and then proceeds to look for shoes. I find them first, grab them and hustle both kiddos out the door to the car before I can really feel guilty about what I said.

At some point, I may need to seriously consider reading Dale Carnegie's book, How to Win Friends and Influence People.

Man, Blow the Dust Off the Keyboard!!

Turn around twice and suddenly you're 3 months into the new year with not posts. What's up with that?!?

January...Blur
February...Blur
March...Blur

Oh no he di'in't!

If you spend enough time with someone, eventually you will see their dark side. Not the bad temper. Not the frustration. The dark side: the judgmental snobby side. Even people of excellent character have one. I fully embrace my dark side. I can definitely be Snarky McSnarkington and enjoy it. It's the people who act like they don't have one that actually have the worst kind. The high & mighty self-righteous kind. While I've had my suspicions about the dark side of one particular person, I've never really seen it. In the last 20 years of the relationship we share, I haven't once seen it fully exposed. Like I said, he hints at it. Today, however, the veil was ripped from my eyes. Who is that masked man you ask? My father-in-law! My sweet, short, full of humor father-in-law!

I've always been a little insecure about the way Bobby's family views me and my family. (It's like that in every family, I think.) Nonetheless, you're familiar with the scenario. The new girlfriend in the family (1989 was a very good year!) really wants to impress her new beau's parents & sibs. New girlfriend then becomes fiancee and still wants to not only impress, but also please the parents & sibs. Fiancee becomes wife and now it is CRUCIAL that the now in-laws LOVE her... that she not give them ANY fodder for ANY misunderstanding or judgment of any kind. These are the people she has to celebrate holidays, etc. with for the next 100 years. No one wants any awkwardness or bad blood. Well, in my 20 years with the Popes (2 dating, 2 engaged, 16 married) my efforts to "contain the crazy" so as to avoid "the look" and "the talk", I have actually managed the exact opposite of what I wanted. I wanted peace and a low profile. What I have? Awkward unrest & misunderstanding. WHY DIDN'T I JUST LET THE CRAZY OUT IN THE FIRST PLACE? I could've been labeled fun and quirky and now life would be a big comfy couch.

Hence the veil-ripping of today. I was with my FIL at a local bookstore (owned by close friends, who were there as well) doing some Christmas shopping. He wanted my help in choosing a couple of books for Evan. He announces to the friend, "I'm buying books for him. I absolutely refuse to buy him stuff. His OTHER grandparents buy him stuff. Too much stuff. He has so much stuff he doesn't know what to do with it all." Alrighty then. The OTHER grandparents being MY parents. Um, hello Dave? I'm standing RIGHT HERE! But wait, there's more...he adds a little caveat: "I'm not dogging your dad." Really. Odd, because THAT'S WHAT IT SOUNDED LIKE!

I managed to keep a calm face. I excused myself under the guise of needing to look for a gift for a SIL. I was blinking back tears by the time I reached the front of the store. WTH! I wanted to scream at, I mean, inform him that his OTHER grandparents give him their time. They give him books. They play games with him, not torture him with tickling (which he hates). They can HEAR him when he shares what's going on in his life. (Oh, right, it's not a hearing problem you have, it's a speech discrimination problem).

Perhaps I should've said, "Thanks for the insight into what you really think about my parents." If he only knew how much I've wanted to say but haven't! All for the sake of peace. Well, look out Dave (and Carol, too)! The gloves are coming off!

There she goes AGAIN!

It's happened AGAIN! I just need to vent so stand back. I HATE BEING THE THIRD WHEEL!!! IT'S MY SESSION, TOO!! WHY SHOULD I FEEL LIKE THE P-I-A LITTLE SISTER?? IF I COULD AFFORD PRIVATE SESSIONS, I'D BE TAKING THEM IN A HEARTBEAT!!!

There, that's over. Now off to my shower where I will cry silent tears of anger, frustration and maybe a bit of shame.

Cheers to another Monday...

This is...awkward!

Has this ever happened to you? You're standing around waiting, for a bus (location changed to protect the guilty) let's say. You're with two other people, one a guy and the other a girl. Suddenly, you are the third wheel, the one standing and gawking while the other two are flirting giddily while supposedly "discussing" a particular topic. Giggling and playful touching. AWKWARD! Especially since one of the parties involved is older and married. SUPER AWKWARD!!

This happened to me today. I won't say where, but it sure wasn't at school and it wasn't at home. If you know me well enough you can probably guess the other place where I spend a bulk of my time. There I am, waiting patiently and then feeling stupid, like an annoying little sister who has just caught her sibling & boyfriend kissing. EWWWW! Oh to have said, "Get a room!" and then seen their reactions. This isn't the first time the older, married woman has sort of thrown herself at the young man. Since she has a record it's bound to happen again. What am I supposed to do? Besides make gagging noises, I mean.

Maybe I should ask Dear Abby.

My Mother Warned Me About This...

Okay, my mother warned me that something like this would happen one day. One day my "smart mouth" would get me into trouble. Now really, this is not the first time. I mean, in all of my 40 years I have definitely smarted off a time or ten. Most of those times have been chalked up to me being sarcastic and people getting that. There have a few times when I've been sarcastic and people don't get it. Their loss. (I'd like to order a sense of humor, please!) But, most people who know me know that about me. Occasionally my sarcasm has more bite to it, like when I'm in a "discussion" (read: argument) with Bobby. I can definitely lay it on pretty thick when provoked. So here's the story about a girl, an FB friend and their posts.

Once upon a time there was a fairly young woman named Talking Stephanie. She LOVES making friends and talking to people. In fact, talking is one of her favorite pastimes. Talking Stephanie can't sit next to someone and not chit-chat. When she found Facebook, Talking Stephanie was in heaven. She could "friend" people, past and present. It was a great way to connect with newbie friends and reconnect with the golden oldies.

One day, a newbie friend named Needy Eilsel, sent a friend request to Talking Steph, who accepted. The two gals had met recently and seemed to get along very well. Not hard when you only see each other twice a week at a social activity. They each read the other's occasional FB posts. Needy tended to post only when she or a member of her immediate family was ill. The posts weren't the "feeling sick" or "running fever" variety but the "my (fill in the blank) is sick with purple pus coming out of his ears" variety. EEWWWwwwwww! If you gotta post that you're sick, please spare us the deets!!

Tempted though she was, Talking Steph did her best not to snark on those grosser than gross posts. Until one day several months ago. She basically responded with a "sucks to be you" comment. (There's the smart mouth rearing it's ugly head) The comment stayed under the radar. Yucky, sickening detailed posts continued appearing from Needy on a regular basis. It took a herculean effort for Talking Steph to keep her "eeewwwww" comments to herself.

Two weeks ago, Talking Steph could keep her self-control no longer. There it was. The "sicky" post. As if under some magic spell, Talking Stephanie's fingers bounced over the keyboard of her computer typing a snarkier than snarky comment. Then those same fingers clicked "reply". Talking Stephanie went on about her life completely oblivious to the havoc that her snarky comment wreaked. Last night, she was busted for it! Needy had messaged her with a four-paragraph long letter chewing her up one side and down the other. Talking Stephanie got told! Bad!

After a few minutes, her head stopped spinning from the virtual slap. Talking Stephanie couldn't believe the hornets' nest she'd walked into. She must've really caught Needy on a BAD day. She should've heard the cracking noise. (that would be the camel's back breaking from one too many straws!) Talking Stephanie couldn't believe her eyes and probably read the letter fifteen times before deciding whether or not to respond. She finally decided. Respond with an apology. Then, unfriend. That way no more annoyingly disgusting posts would make their way onto her computer screen. "Dear Needy, I am so sorry. I didn't realize. It won't EVER happen again. EVER." Unfriend.

And Talking Stephanie lived happily ever after with her real friends after all.

Holy Cow!! It's September already?!

And not "just September"...but we're 1/3 of the way into the month! Not to sound like a 100 y.o. woman but where did the time go??

So I've made it this far into the year with only a few days of "baby regret" or "why have I waited so long to have a second child?" That is a very slippery slope into the "I'm here for the pity party...table for 1." (I think I've caught "Mary-itis" or "put quotation marks around EVERYTHING" disease! MUST STOP NOW!)

When I was pregnant with Evan and blissfully ignorant of the behind-the-scenes world of mothers, I would sit and plan. I wanted to be pregnant with baby #2 by the time Evan was
2 1/2. That would make him 3 when the baby was born. Then possibly I might want to have a 3rd when baby #2 was 2 1/2. Well, that bubble burst and left gum goo all over my face!

Now I have a 7 y.o. And a lot of regret. Honestly, I think the reason I try to stay super busy is so that I am sooooo distracted by everything else that I think I won't have time to be sad over the fact that we have no baby #2. (or #3, come to that)

I do take comfort in the fact that I'm not the only one who will have two kids WAY far apart in age and basically be raising two "only" children (according to Dr. Kevin Leman, guru of birth order) I just need to focus on that comfort and not the regret.

Easier said than done.